Get Honest – About Unrealistic Expectations

Get Honest – About Unrealistic Expectations

Recognize that your viewpoint about your porn habit may be skewed. Your rationalizations to yourself may not include the whole picture. It has become a normal way of life to you and probably your friends. You aren’t fully aware of how harmful the habit is, and how it’s has changed you. Face The Harm Done Twenty years ago, looking at such hard-core porn as is now available was considered disgusting and depraved. Currently for many people, it is commonplace and unsurprising. Your spouse or romantic partner is not yet desensitized and is having a reasonable reaction. Add to this, that many spouses…

Get Accountable – Enlisting the Help of Others

Get Accountable – Enlisting the Help of Others

A key to the success of successful business persons is to know what strengths they have, what they lack, and to make sure they have others that can make up for their lack. They also use others–superiors, assistants, even customers–to stay accountable to their own quality performance goals. Find an Ally It’s a wise choice to enlist the aid of others in helping to overcome a weakness. It can be as simple as asking a friend to check your progress every week. Or it can be as involved as having your online activities electronically reported to your pastor. For example,…

Get Boundaries – Hang Out With Different People

Get Boundaries – Hang Out With Different People

Let’s face it– the people you spend time with have an impact on your life. Get boundaries because anyone can be influenced, no matter how independent you are. Research shows obesity, infidelity, divorce and all kinds of other behavior is contagious. People attract and hang on to others who have a common base. It’s easy to think, “everybody does this” because you subtly avoided those who don’t! What Are Your Friends Into? Look honestly at your friends and associates. Do some of them encourage porn-viewing, masturbation and a casual attitude towards sex in general? Would they support your efforts to…

Get Clean – Rebooting Your Life

Get Clean – Rebooting Your Life

“For as he thinks, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 How do you get clean? You have to make the choice to stop looking at porn either cold turkey or gradually. Regardless of which way you choose, ending porn use, masturbation or other unhealthy sexual habits gives your mind and body a chance to regain its normal responses. It’s also an opportunity to undo many of the negative effects. Some people call this process “rebooting.” Rebooting is a Process Experienced rebooters say that it takes 90 days porn-free for this to happen. So the 90 days (cold turkey) is the process…

Get Honest – Be Real With The People You Love

Get Honest – Be Real With The People You Love

The preoccupation with porn and masturbation means that your heart is diverted away from loved ones. They can feel this, even if you’ve hidden the habit and they don’t know the reason why. It’s true true if you’re are married and have children, or if you live with parents and siblings. More to the point, when your spouse or engaged partner discovers your sexual attention and energy is being directed towards others, whether digital “others” or not, they can rightly feel betrayed. They doubt themselves–“why aren’t I good enough?” And then in your efforts to protect and justify your cherished…

Get Accountable – Find a Support Network

Get Accountable – Find a Support Network

We all have a powerful need to belong. When we feel part of a group, we feel stronger. Being accountable means being responsible, liable, and answerable to others. This is a natural responsibility because we are always in relationship with others. Don’t Alienate Yourself Having a sexual habit can alienate you from the natural groups you belong to: your family and church community. It can lead you to hang out with people who have similar habits, and that’s not going to help you. Finding a support network of others working to improve themselves is tremendously valuable. Check out 12 Step and other…

Get Boundaries – Get Rid of Negative Influences

Get Boundaries – Get Rid of Negative Influences

Among addicts there is a saying, “No playground, no playmates, no playthings.” This refers to getting rid of the unnecessary and unwanted influences in your life, the invitations to temptation. When you become serious to gain freedom from the habit, make your electronics safer and cut off from people who encourage porn use. Make Your Media Safer Time to clean house. Delete any favorite sites from your computer and smartphone, clear out your history, cookies and cache. Scan your computer for malware from porn sites, and start all over. Make your computer less convenient to use but putting it in a…

Get A Program

Get A Program

“No one overcomes this by themselves.” That’s what ex-users and experts repeatedly report. Studies show that those who have most successfully changed unwanted habits need a clear process, structure, information, social support and sometimes personal coaching. Work With The Experts Brain and addiction research have now produced programs, both in person meetings and online, that have proven to be highly effective with thousands of men and women. PureMind.Online recommend that you investigate and adopt one of the following programs as a centerpiece of your change efforts. These programs feature engaging research-based video education, interaction with other learners, and often include coaching. They…