What Sends You Down That Road?

What Sends You Down That Road?

If you’re going to take a trip, it starts with a thought and a desire first. Maybe you see a photo of an exotic island in a travel magazine. You entertain thoughts of what it would be like. You wonder how much it would cost and when you could go. Then you start to search for tickets online. It was just an idea, and before you know it you’re taking action. You can’t afford to go on this trip, but that doesn’t stop you from fantasizing about it. Understanding the Activation Sequence This sequence of events leading to that tropical vacation…

Get Skilled – In Healthy Lovemaking

Get Skilled – In Healthy Lovemaking

Part of recovery from the habit is to gain a better understanding of a healthy sexual relationship. However, if you’re single it’s best to think as little about sex as possible while you’re recovering from a porn habit. Married couples should do some research on the subject of lovemaking. Learn about the differences between men and women, and what a happily married sex life looks like. How To Create A Passionate Love Life Pornography “sells” its unrealistic and warped sex education very vividly. To counter this you need to re-educate yourself about lovemaking. With a new understanding and vision, you can create…

Get Specific By Making A List of SUD’s

Get Specific By Making A List of SUD’s

One way to learn more about your habit is to make note of seemingly unimportant decisions— SUD’s. These choices typically lead up to viewing porn. They seem like harmless thoughts or actions, but in your life they lead to the habit. Consider your thoughts and feelings when you make these decisions. Is there another trigger or urge prompting you? Could you create a different routine if you didn’t feel this need? Notice What Leads You to View Porn  Is it staying up late alone? Shutting the office or bedroom door? Turning to a certain kind of music? Logging on at night…

Get Committed – Reframe Your Journey

Get Committed – Reframe Your Journey

What would compel you to be committed to a cause? You can find your strongest motivation by using your imagination. Taste the freedom of having overcome Relax in a calm place and as vividly as you can, imagine five or 10 years from now, being free of this habit. Picture all that you will gain–within yourself, for the ones you love, and the dreams you will realize.  Let yourself enjoy the rewards of your struggle in advance by savoring the feelings of freedom and power. Write your vision down, to remind yourself why the struggle is worth it. Read it…

Get Specific – Plan for Emergencies

Get Specific – Plan for Emergencies

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” – Benjamin Franklin There is another saying, “When at your best, prepare for the worst.” A classic mistake that anyone in recovery can make is to get overconfident and complacent after an initial period of success. We think we are stronger than we are, and don’t recognize the weaknesses we still have–which will become clear when we’re under enough stress. Avoid The Most Common Triggers Don’t let yourself get ambushed by the inevitable “perfect storm” of bad conditions: Fatigue, boredom, fear or loneliness coupled with unlimited time on a computer. Also plan…

Get Informed – Expect Recovery to be a Lifestyle

Get Informed – Expect Recovery to be a Lifestyle

People who lose weight and keep it off say that temporary diets don’t work. They had to set up a new way of life, full of new routines, new pleasures and new preferences. Sometimes even making new friends and associates is necessary if you really want to change your life. Changing Your Lifestyle Addiction is more than just the abuse of a drug or some activity. This habit can effect a lot of your daily life and routines. How do you spend your time, effort, and money? Can you see how your sexual habits affect these choices? It stands to reason then…

Get Honest – About Unrealistic Expectations

Get Honest – About Unrealistic Expectations

Recognize that your viewpoint about your porn habit may be skewed. Your rationalizations to yourself may not include the whole picture. It has become a normal way of life to you and probably your friends. You aren’t fully aware of how harmful the habit is, and how it’s has changed you. Face The Harm Done Twenty years ago, looking at such hard-core porn as is now available was considered disgusting and depraved. Currently for many people, it is commonplace and unsurprising. Your spouse or romantic partner is not yet desensitized and is having a reasonable reaction. Add to this, that many spouses…

Get Informed – Anticipate Relapses

Get Informed – Anticipate Relapses

When learning any new skill or behavior, it’s inevitable to slip up once in awhile and revert to old habits. Relapses are common in the beginning of the process of change. This usually happens during times of high stress when you just go without thinking for what is familiar and comforting. A Slip Up Is Not Failure This slip up or lapse can be minor–like grabbing a donut when on a diet. You can quickly get back on track, or you can spiral downward rapidly. Before you know it you’re back into your full-blown habit, called a relapse. Getting smart…

Get Extra Help – Counseling and Healing

Get Extra Help – Counseling and Healing

Athletes use personal trainers to help them perfect their skills. Having someone as a coach to push you past your comfort zone and expose your blind spots is invaluable. So it is with overcoming a habit. Just as an Accountability Partner help you reach your internet use goals, so counselors and life coaches can assist you in getting “unstuck” and realizing your objectives. There’s a Personal Story Behind Your Addiction You may have particular challenges that are contributing to your present problems. For instance. you may have experienced head injuries when younger that were dismissed at the time but that…

Get Accountable – Enlisting the Help of Others

Get Accountable – Enlisting the Help of Others

A key to the success of successful business persons is to know what strengths they have, what they lack, and to make sure they have others that can make up for their lack. They also use others–superiors, assistants, even customers–to stay accountable to their own quality performance goals. Find an Ally It’s a wise choice to enlist the aid of others in helping to overcome a weakness. It can be as simple as asking a friend to check your progress every week. Or it can be as involved as having your online activities electronically reported to your pastor. For example,…

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