Spiritual Support For Spouses

Spiritual Support For Spouses

Between husband and wife, or an engaged couple, it’s best not to focus on your partner’s “problems” or “undesirable habits.” Although you don’t need to sweep those things under the rug, taking a positive approach will be more helpful for both of you. A very good place to start then is within yourself, caring for your own mind and heart. How that happens may be different for each person, depending on personality. How can I attract the most spiritual support? 1. Find strength Share your struggles and successes with your Heavenly Parent. Be honest about your own weaknesses so that you…

How Can I Support My Partner’s Recovery?

How Can I Support My Partner’s Recovery?

The only place to start anything is within yourself. That doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, it’s just that you can’t control what others do. You can only manage your own mind, body and emotions, and doing that will have an impact on others. Supportive Steps Here’s a list of steps that other spouses have found beneficial in supporting their partner’s recovery: 1. Become  informed Understanding the recovery process lets you know how to give support. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Make use of your time by learning all you can about the habit, it’s effects, and the stages of recovery….

How can I gain the most spiritual support?

How can I gain the most spiritual support?

God is your loving parent who understands you and is waiting for you to reach out in prayer. Just be honest, be yourself, and express your needs and concerns. Tell God what you really care about and what’s going on in your life. Many people have a profound experience of grace once they get totally real with God. The Practice of Faith and Love Divine Principle’s insight into making a basis for drawing God’s power is expressed in the formula of making a Foundation of Faith plus a Foundation of Substance. The faith foundation involves acts of dedication to words…

How do I cope with the effects of my partner’s pornography habit?

How do I cope with the effects of my partner’s pornography habit?

Spouses of porn addicts need recovery support, too. It’s understandable that you would feel upset, even hurt, when you first discover the problem. However, in any relationship, overly emotional reactions can make a problem worse. You do need to be able to express how you feel in a constructive way, but your spouse may not be ready to deal with the impact that their habit has on you. Don’t try to do this alone. While you are trying to overcome your reactions to their habit it may be helpful to seek counseling or join a support group. Your path towards…

Get Skilled – Learn Something New

Get Skilled – Learn Something New

Think about what you want to accomplish in life and how you want to live. Are there things you could be learning that would help you achieve those goals? Perhaps you could enhance some of the skills or hobbies you already have. Are you unhappy with your job? Maybe you make good money but you really don’t enjoy your chosen profession. Maybe you’d like to go back to school, or just take a few classes. Stop Being Entertained Watching porn puts you in a kind of trance where time and space seem to vanish, and this provides an escape from…

Get Healthy

Get Healthy

The best way to stop any unhealthy routine is to replace it with a healthy one. If you are always exhausted, stressed, bored, malnourished and isolated, you will turn to your drug of choice to survive. But when you are refreshed, inspired, nourished and connected, you are less interested in false substitutes for really living. The sexual habit is a replacement for something missing. Figure out what your needs are and start working to meet them in an authentic way. Clean Up Your Diet Addictive behavior tends to  be associated with eating junk food–sugar, caffeine, fats and carbs. This is…

Get Real

Get Real

Porn, like  video games, is escape into fantasy. In gaming, you kill the monster. In porn, you get the girl (or guy). At least with gaming, you need to have some skill. With porn, hundreds of attractive strangers can bare all and give themselves to you, while requiring nothing. A dangerous illusion. Find Healthier Escapes Healthy escapes are welcome distractions to help you re-engage with the demands of  real life refreshed. The best ones make you wiser and more imaginative, broaden your perspective and sharpen your skills in some way.  Healthy Escapes Might Include: Sports/Dance Art Crafts Music Drama Books…

Get Clean – Rebooting Your Life

Get Clean – Rebooting Your Life

“For as he thinks, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 How do you get clean? You have to make the choice to stop looking at porn either cold turkey or gradually. Regardless of which way you choose, ending porn use, masturbation or other unhealthy sexual habits gives your mind and body a chance to regain its normal responses. It’s also an opportunity to undo many of the negative effects. Some people call this process “rebooting.” Rebooting is a Process Experienced rebooters say that it takes 90 days porn-free for this to happen. So the 90 days (cold turkey) is the process…

Get Honest – Be Real With The People You Love

Get Honest – Be Real With The People You Love

The preoccupation with porn and masturbation means that your heart is diverted away from loved ones. They can feel this, even if you’ve hidden the habit and they don’t know the reason why. It’s true true if you’re are married and have children, or if you live with parents and siblings. More to the point, when your spouse or engaged partner discovers your sexual attention and energy is being directed towards others, whether digital “others” or not, they can rightly feel betrayed. They doubt themselves–“why aren’t I good enough?” And then in your efforts to protect and justify your cherished…

Get Accountable – Find a Support Network

Get Accountable – Find a Support Network

We all have a powerful need to belong. When we feel part of a group, we feel stronger. Being accountable means being responsible, liable, and answerable to others. This is a natural responsibility because we are always in relationship with others. Don’t Alienate Yourself Having a sexual habit can alienate you from the natural groups you belong to: your family and church community. It can lead you to hang out with people who have similar habits, and that’s not going to help you. Finding a support network of others working to improve themselves is tremendously valuable. Check out 12 Step and other…