Hello everyone! Ten more days until I hit the ninety day mark. It’s hard to believe that I’ve made it this far. It’s a little sad to admit that, but for a long time I felt this was impossible.
I’m headed to America this week and then right after I’ll be going to Korea for the Global Top Gun workshop! So, in theory I won’t even have space in my calendar for porn to show up. That doesn’t mean I can get lazy though. This past week hasn’t been easy.
The Mind Seeks Rewards
I’ve been having these memories and fantasies creep into my mind more than I’m used to. Reflecting on this past week I’m noticing another pattern in my life. My struggle with porn tends to get worse after I accomplish something that I consider took a lot of work.
Sometimes I’ve used porn as a kind of unconscious reward for doing good. Maybe it was helping out in a workshop, or giving a good talk to my younger brothers and sisters. There have been many instances when I’d go home after doing something good and then I’d slip up and watch porn. Afterwards I’d talk to myself “how can you do that? You just talked to young people about growing their spirits and then you watch porn!?!” This usually leads to a really bad week.
Celebrate Victories in a Healthy Way
That said, I do believe it is important to celebrate our victories. Sometimes when I look at the culture I grew up in, I feel like we really need to step up how we celebrate. We usually have cake, people say things, and maybe we’ll play a game or sing some songs. There is nothing wrong with that but it’s become a bit routine.
I think we are headed in the right direction though. Recently there was a celebration at Madison Square Garden in New York. I couldn’t attend but from what I heard the energy was pretty high and they had some great performances.
Probably one of the best defenses to porn is just create more joy in life. So, we need to learn some healthy ways to treat ourselves. Personally, the way I like to treat myself is I got to Karaoke. I’ll just go by myself sometimes for a couple of hours and sing and dance and go crazy in my little box. It’s awesome. So, what should I do after getting to ninety days? If you have any ideas put it in the comments section!
Treat yourself to something great
My challenge to you is to join in on this. Create a goal for your recovery. Make it realistic based on where you are at. Maybe that’s not watching porn for three days in a row, maybe it’s a week or two, whatever. After you complete the goal then go treat yourself! Do something that makes you feel great, and if it’s also good for you that’s even better.
I know a lot of us over achievers want to downplay our accomplishments, but this is so important. If you’re not intentional with how you treat yourself then your body might take over and push you to watch porn as a “reward.” So, for the sake of your recovery treat yourself in a better way.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Share your comments or questions below.