Protecting children from the problems in the world doesn’t start with creating barriers or shelters. The best protection is teaching a child how to deal with problems, because problems will always exist. This is also true about the issues of pornography and sexual abuse.

Personal Values Without Judgment

When teaching children values such as sexual purity, modesty and how to relate to others, it’s best to show the personal benefit. Instead of teaching these values as a “great moral judgment”, we can teach them in a common sense way. How does it benefit a person to save sex for marriage, dress modestly, and relate to others as brothers and sisters?


Here are a few ideas to think about discussing with your kids:

  • There’s a lot to learn while growing up and sex can be a big distraction from other education.
  • Sex without love is not fulfilling, but personal maturity is necessary to experience real love.
  • Early sexual involvement can lead to distorted views of self-value and emotional problems.
  • Showing off your body does not attract real love, it stimulate sexual desire and makes you feel wanted.
  • Relating as brothers and sisters allows the greatest freedom in relationships. Since there is no expectation of romance or sex, it’s possible to develop true friendships with the opposite sex, which is a better foundation for marriage and building a life together.
  • Teach them simple ways to explain these ideas to other kids, without bringing religion into the picture

Love is the most powerful force in the universe

Love is what we are born for. We need it for our very survival. We are born yearning for it, seeking it through every human interaction. Children are very children and parentssensitive to a lack of love or loss of love.

In the early years, children perceive love as attention, being taken care of, comfort, and needs being met. As children develop and feel secure, they can gain a deeper understanding of the many aspects of love. Their understanding of love will happen mostly through family relationships, the environment they are exposed to, and how these interact with their unique personality and needs.

In addition to showing them through actions, it’s important to have age appropriate conversations about what love is, and what it’s not. These conversations help to clarify what they see and feel. The best conversations happen in a natural, spontaneous way out of the child’s curiosity or because of their experiences.


You Are the Most Important Person

Children want their parents love more than anything else. Disapproval can feel like rejection, it can feel like a loss of love. That means kids will lie or hide mistakes to avoid parental disapproval.


A young person is more likely to talk to their parents about a porn problem when the parents have been open and accepting about other problems. It’s worth thinking through your reactions ahead of time, deciding how you can stay calm and respond unemotionally in different situations. Your child needs to know that you will still love them even if they’ve made a big mistake, and that you want to help them.mother and daughter


If your home has an atmosphere of criticism, accusation, and demanding obedience, it will be very difficult for your children to open up about their problems. Many mistakes children make, or problems they have, are a natural part of growing up. They are immature so it’s unfair to expect them to act perfectly all the time. Rather than judgment and criticism they need understanding, guidance, and parents who believe in them while they are struggling to grow up.

 

 

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