Part 2 of a 4 part series on Sex Mis-education
Pure Mind Online affirms that marriage is the ideal context for pleasurable sex and bonding. When a couple abstains from sex until pledging this type of commitment to each other, it is the most authentic expression of love. Waiting for sex until marriage is the only way to limit any potential drawbacks.
Isn’t sex just a natural expression of love?
Sure, it is instinctive for romantic love to want to express itself sexually. Yet it is also natural for true love to want the best for the beloved, and for their relationship. People who make unselfish love a priority are willing to sacrifice their physical desires in preparation for lasting love.
Speaking of what is natural, would you want a gift that was used by an earlier lover? How many women would rejoice at receiving a ring that had already made the rounds with five other girlfriends before her? Most men who have remarried don’t delight in seeing photos of the spouse’s ex-husband. These are all expressions of an innate desire for exclusivity.
If sex is a natural expression of love, it only makes sense that it should be reserved as an exclusive gift. Indiscriminate sex is not love, it’s just accommodating sexual desires. A person who saves sex for one beloved special enough to be chosen as a lifetime mate shows a higher dimension of love.
Isn’t one partner for life unnatural?
The second mistaken notion that follows from the first is: Having many sexual partners is only natural. This argument compares humanity to animals, particularly promiscuous primates, and speaking in evolutionary terms about the need to propagate the species through many sexual liaisons. Anyone who considers humans and primates as cousins might see monogamy and marriage as almost impossibly difficult, contrary to our genetic makeup.
Yet humans differ from these and other animals in obvious ways. First, sex among animals is a seasonal matter driven solely by instinct for the sake of reproduction. However, men and women enjoy physical union far more often than any animal and for more reasons than reproduction alone. This freedom implies certain important responsibilities, as well as certain higher capacities that animals do not share. Freedom allows us to fulfill those responsibilities.
Animal coupling is often indiscriminate about the partner. In contrast, we are spiritual beings with a compelling need not only for meaningful and lasting love. We also want to be loved as a specific and whole person, and to love another in the same way.
A Family is a Natural Expression of Love
Third, human offspring need many years of parental investment to thrive, unlike primates. Moreover, parental love and investment in child rearing affects a child’s resilience and capacity for making a meaningful contribution to society. Giving birth to children that are not properly cared for does not make sense even from a materialistic species survival mentality. Therefore, what is truly natural for men and women to do is to bond for life so that they can care for each other and the children they produce. Even many other mammals do that, too.
The human tendency to get involved in temporary sexual liaisons is the result of immaturity and bad conditioning. Free sex expresses self-centered desire, and the tendency of the body to dominate the mind. Self-centered sex is not a God-given right, or even an evolutionary trait.