Let’s face it– the people you spend time with have an impact on your life. Get boundaries because anyone can be influenced, no matter how independent you are. Research shows obesity, infidelity, divorce and all kinds of other behavior is contagious. People attract and hang on to others who have a common base. It’s easy to think, “everybody does this” because you subtly avoided those who don’t!
What Are Your Friends Into?
Look honestly at your friends and associates. Do some of them encourage porn-viewing, masturbation and a casual attitude towards sex in general? Would they support your efforts to change? If not, you need to distance yourself as much as you can.
That might be very difficult because you like your friends. You don’t want them to feel hurt and you don’t want to judge them. But there is a time in everyone’s life when they have to make hard choices. If you were a recovering alcoholic, would you hang out at a bar?
Choose Your Standard and Take Action
And remember, boundaries you are not willing to enforce are not boundaries. Unless you can speak up and take action to let people know what you will, and will not accept, then you have no real standard. Without a standard you are at the mercy of what everyone else chooses to do.
Anyone who wants to make a positive change in their life will face some opposition. That opposition comes from two places; within yourself and from others. It’s hard enough to deal with the opposing forces within without adding external temptation. You’re trying to train yourself to think differently and feel differently, so why put yourself in situations or with people that will cause you to regress?
New Friends, New Life
So, if you’re really ready to create the life that you want to live – then start choosing to hang out with the people that support the path you really want to be on. Your future happiness and success depends on the choices you make in the present.