Between husband and wife, or an engaged couple, it’s best not to focus on your partner’s “problems” or “undesirable habits.” Although you don’t need to sweep those things under the rug, taking a positive approach will be more helpful for both of you.
A very good place to start then is within yourself, caring for your own mind and heart. How that happens may be different for each person, depending on personality.
How can I attract the most spiritual support?
1. Find strength
Share your struggles and successes with your Heavenly Parent. Be honest about your own weaknesses so that you can feel compassion for your spouse or fiance(e). No one is perfect. Although you may not have the same habits or issues and your partner, any problem provides an opportunity to learn and grow in new ways.
Ask God how you can use the current problem to grow spiritually, which means to grow in love. Ask God to show you how to develop a heart of unconditional love. Unconditional simply means allowing room for growth, forgiving mistakes, and believing that good can prevail.
2. Find power
Fortify your mind with words of spiritual wisdom. There are so many sources of scripture that can inspire and give hope. Music can be empowering for some people, while others find their power in service or by doing something creative.
Empowerment comes from feeling in control, having dominion over something you care about. You can’t control what other people do or say, but you can focus instead on the things in your own life that you have dominion over. Offer to God the things that give you strength and power and invite God to participate in your efforts to nurture and strengthen yourself.
3. Find purpose
We have many purposes actually, from survival to living in a joyful and loving relationship with God and others. Rising above the survival and maintenance mode, we usually find the greatest satisfaction and peace when living for a higher purpose. For some people this might mean fighting against social injustice, while for others it could be creating something new.
Find your higher purpose and focus on living it! This can change slightly in outer appearance throughout your life. Maybe at this time your higher purpose revolves around recovery. This is an opportunity to dedicate your couple’s recovery to helping others, not just yourself.