Spouses of porn addicts need recovery support, too. It’s understandable that you would feel upset, even hurt, when you first discover the problem. However, in any relationship, overly emotional reactions can make a problem worse.
You do need to be able to express how you feel in a constructive way, but your spouse may not be ready to deal with the impact that their habit has on you. Don’t try to do this alone. While you are trying to overcome your reactions to their habit it may be helpful to seek counseling or join a support group.
Your path towards healing involves:
- Accepting that the spouse is addicted, which means they will need help to change their behavior.
- Managing your own unhealthy reactions, and choosing better ones.
- Respecting yourself, and finding healthy ways to care for yourself.
Below are 7 action steps you can take that will help you work through this problem. At first you may feel alone and isolated, but the more you learn about the habit the more you will realize you are not alone, and there is help.
1. Create space for healing
Give yourself time and space to recover from learning what your spouse has been doing.
2. Find hope
Encourage yourself with stories of other spouses’ healing. Watch video testimonies on this playlist.
3. Find knowledge
The better you understand the habit, the less you will take your spouse’s behavior personally.
Don’t suffer alone; find perspective and comfort from trusted friends and family.
5. Find others like you
Participate in support groups for family members in a similar situation.
6. Become a team
Team up with your spouse against the problem.
7. Find time for yourself
Practice a healthy lifestyle to mitigate the effects of stress.
Resources for you:
- Safe Passages Counseling
- 7 Questions Wives of Porn Addicts Often Ask, Covenant Eyes
- What I learned…